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30 March 2008 @ 11:46 pm
Violence on the Steps of the Jedi Temple – Boy Missing

Peaceful protests held on the steps of the Jedi Temple were interrupted by violence this afternoon. What appeared to be an unadorned protocol droid made its way into the crowd, according to officials. The droid then exploded, killing eighteen and wounding many of the assembled. Several Jedi Younglings were among the wounded.

The missing boy, twelve-year-old Padawan Liam Daurann, was returning from a field trip to the Senate when the explosion occurred. He is not counted among the deceased or wounded. It is presumed that he has been kidnapped, and a full scale investigation is under way. The protesters are not on trial for the kidnapping at this time, though the organizers of the protest are suspects.

The protesters had stated intentions to remain on the steps until the Galactic Civil War ended, but protest organizers are rethinking their strategy after today's incident. In response to the attack, the Supreme Chancellor promised to double security around the Temple, placing heavily armed guard on every exit. The Jedi Council protested this, some of the Order even going as far as threatening the guards.

Witnesses have suggested a link between today's attack and recent attacks on Republic freight ships by former Jedi and notorious pirate Qui-Gon Jinn.
16 February 2008 @ 10:38 pm
Born To Be A Bachelor?


Alain "Johns" Kenobi, the 40-year-old lead singer of the popular Vyarin folk band Taryn Lads, sings the praises of bachelorhood in the hit song. Apparently, enjoying the single life also means fleeing the planet upon learning that you're going to be a father. Kenobi and 21-year-old CCU student Neela Sogana are expecting their first child by summer's end, but Sogana hasn't heard from Kenobi since she told him the happy news.

"He was definitely excited about it," says Sogana. "This pregnancy was unexpected, but not unwelcome. We talked about getting married, and then poof! He just disappeared. I really don't know what to think at this point. He's been gone for months. I'm totally confused by his actions."

The two had only a brief courtship before the pregnancy, but were very much in love, according to Sogana. "This is supposed to be a happy time for us," she says, obviously fighting tears. "I don't know why he's staying away. I can't help but wonder if he only let me believe he loved me so he could keep using me, you know? It hurts. It really hurts."

Perhaps Sogana should have taken his "Bachelor" song lyrics to heart:

Girls, ye’ll never catch me,
Stayin’ single, that’s the plan
I was born to be a Bachelor,
Sure I’m yer only man! Hah?

The HoloNet News attempted to contact Kenobi, but he could not be reached for comment. Just how far away will he run from his parental responsibility?
02 September 2007 @ 10:44 pm
Connection Between Former Jedi and Separatists Unveiled

Former Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn was found to have connections with the Separatists earlier this week, confirming what many have suspected since his rather suspicious return from parts unknown last year. That's right, the student of former Jedi Count Dooku, leader of the Separatists, has turned traitor as well.

Apparently, Jinn has acquired considerable wealth since his return, investing in a large ship, fortress, and many exotic pets. Among his menagerie, two ranphyx and two penguins, stolen from the Coruscanti Capital Zoo. The origin of this wealth is unknown, although it most likely comes from the pockets of Count Dooku himself.

Piracy was the most notable of the despicable actions discovered to date. He's been found in the company of Nym, notorious Feeorin captain of Havoc, the Pirates of Iridium, and Nikolai Mstislav, crime lord and supplier of the extremely rare phrik alloy. Phrik is one of the very few known materials capable of deflecting the blade of a Jedi's lightsaber.

Reports show that he spends much of his time at the Jedi Temple, on Coruscant, and yet the Jedi have done nothing. They must know of his illicit dealings, and yet they house him willingly. Evidence as solid as this begs the question of what the Republic is going to do about such a devious man and the people who are protecting him.

Footage of Jinn consorting with known pirates and other evil men can be witnessed in our video archives.
01 March 2007 @ 06:00 pm
Make Love, Not War

Hero With No Fear hunk, Commander Anakin Skywalker is at it again, it seems. The Tatooine native was once quoted as saying he's a "Lover, not a fighter" and recent events seem to prove that true. Skywalker, 20, was arrested on Wednesday for public indecency after he was spotted having sexual intercourse with up and coming musician, Alain Kenobi. Kenobi, 39, native of Hydraethea, has been spotted several times with Skywalker, usually in close contact which leaves the public to speculate the nature of their relationship.

Skywalker has been caught in the act before with none other than the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic. The incident in question took place in a dressing room and security was called in but no charges were pressed.

Skywalker has been linked to several high profile names, including Senator Amidala of Naboo, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, and Jedi Master General Obi-Wan Kenobi. Speculations about the familial relation between Master O. Kenobi and A. Kenobi have been running wild but the only proof thus obtained is the shared last name and an incredibly strong physical resemblance.

Master Obi-Wan Kenobi Alain Kenobi

In the world of celebrities however, there's no such thing as bad publicity. Being caught en flagrante delecto with the Republic's most eligible Jedi have done wonders for Kenobi's career. His band's shows have become rather famous over night and their appearance is in demand in all the trendiest hotspots in the Senate and Temple Districts of Coruscant. His act can currently be caught at the Dark Side pub in the Senate District.